“I Can’t Go Back To Yesterday, Because I Was a Different Person Then”
There’s a haunting beauty in that quote from Alice in Wonderland.
“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.”
When you’ve lived through domestic violence, those words take on a new weight.
After the chaos, the pain, the slow erosion of self-worth—many of us want one thing more than anything else:
To go back.
Back to who we were.
Before the control. Before the fear. Before we questioned our own reality.
Back to a time when we trusted people. Trusted ourselves. Believed in our worth.
But the truth is, we can’t.
And that’s not a failure.
That’s part of the transformation.
The woman I was before didn’t know what I know now.
She hadn’t walked through fire.
She hadn’t learned to read between the lines of someone’s charm or to recognize the small silences that say everything.
She hadn’t built a life from ashes yet.
She hadn’t discovered the rebellion that healing demands.
Trying to return to “before” only prolongs the ache.
It keeps us stuck in mourning, measuring ourselves against a version of us that no longer fits.
It’s like Alice, lost in Wonderland, desperately trying to make sense of a world that no longer plays by the rules she once knew.
But here’s the magic:
You don’t have to go back.
You can create something entirely new.
You can build your own Wonderland.
One where your voice is heard.
Where your boundaries are sacred.
Where creativity is your compass, and healing is not linear, but wildly, beautifully yours.
In my Wonderland, healing looks like painting flowers that speak.
It looks like writing messy journal entries and tearing pages just to make something new.
It’s late-night coffee, rock music, and reminders that I’m allowed to take up space.
This blog is my Wonderland.
A place to share stories, reminders, rebellion, and hope.
If you’re here, maybe you’re building yours too.
You don’t have to go back to yesterday.
You’re not that person anymore.
And that’s a good thing.
Welcome to your Wonderland.